Some People Wanna Fill the World (With Silly Love Songs)

So Monday was V Day, the most saccharine, annoying and down right nasty of all (non) holidays. There were wall to wall roses and a general sense of false euphoria enveloped the air. I would have been in a good mood had I not been dumped on Sunday. The boy I was seeing, for at the end of the day they are all boys Mannish or otherwise, told me in that I was simply to good for him and that I deserved much much more including being alone for the umpteenth time on Valentine's day and forever more.

Perhaps the irony was lost on him.

He was a nice enough fellow, as nice as you could hope a Nairobi guy to be. He nearly worshiped me and perhaps he idealized the idea of me a bit to much but nobody ever complained seriously of being given attention. Plus he was cute and intelligent and sufficient and sweet.

So he was adequate.

And these days adequate is a PLUS. Way better than mediocre. The thing is he always felt like I was going to leave him as soon as something better came along and perhaps this insecurity led him to cut his losses and head for the hills.

So that's TWO failed relationships in as many months. There appears to be one constant in this equation. So perhaps I should give up whatever it is I'm looking for. In the mean time I'll gather my posse and we'll talk about all those silly TV programmes with their unrealistic plot lines and expectations and the silly people who want to fill the world with silly love songs. Easy FM and Classic 105 I mean you! 

In the mean time, here's my New imaginary boyfriend:

Other Pretty Young Things can be found here

And here is Sir Paul McCartney & Wings

That Spells 'Mannish Boy'

Now Nairobi has no shortage of Pretty Boys or Pretty Young Things -more commonly referred to as Twinks-. I recently met one of those. I was feeling kinda lonely and old and so in a fit of desperation I put up a profile on (que drum roll) GAYDAR (facebook for fags as my friend puts it). Naturally I had reservations about the whole idea. For one I am really really genuinely paranoid - to much Crime and Investigation I think and two no Disney movie ever started with a pretty damsel logging on to a computer trawling for sex. Anyway I threw caution to the wind and a bunch of other silly analogies and in no time I found HIM. We exchanged numbers, became facebook friends and I was pleasantly surprised by his pictures. Yes he was HOT, a quality that Kenyan men are not particularly known for.

We soon met up, he was better looking n person and had a sort of rakish air around him that oozed confidence and some to the effect that 'I'm the shit'. Anyway our initial encounter was OK - no fireworks there. We talked about general stuff, friends we had in common, family, where we went to school. And before I forget he was slightly older than me, OK 5 years older. Anyway as time went on he became I begun to realise how little we had in common. For instance he liked the kind of music that came out of a computer, I liked anything made before 1975. In fact the more we talked the older I felt. My Knight in shinning armour begun to look like a little boy - a Mannish Boy.

What especially annoyed and fascinated me was his self-confidence. For instance here one phone conversation went like this:

ME: Your good looking chap
HIM: I know
ME: Do you want to rephrase that statement, maybe think about it a little?
HIM: Nope
ME: I'm going to hang up now!

And I did. The cheeky little shit! I couldn't believe the ego and the nerve on him. Anyway I soon lost my rose-coloured glasses and saw him for what he was, a selfish prick. And then the voice in my head screamed 'The writing's on the wall bitch!' And sure enough the signs were all there. He once kept me waiting for him at a popular Westie hangout for 2 freaking hours without a call or text until one of my Girl friends hit me on the head and said "This nigga aint coming. Ebu, where is your dignity?" And she had a point, that and she was looking to get hammered on the cheap. Later that week he came up with some lame excuse that went something like "Where were you that night?"

Anyway the point of all this is that looks and age can be deceiving. The Mannish Boy like the one in that Muddy Waters' song has grown up in a bubble. In this case this guy's looks rendered him into a state of permanent immaturity. It may be true to say that we didn't hit it off and that there were not mutual feelings of giddy romance -maybe lust- but I felt slightly mistreated and maybe just a tad used. Anyway Nairobi s full of theses Mannish Boys and many people are oblivious to it.

Muddy Waters, the original Mannish Boy

As a general rule of thumb, if a guy or gal dosen't call/ txt and stands you up without explanation then you best be running in the opposite direction!